Theres something that happens on residency where all your senses are on high alert and what you cant make out in language you make up for in other magnified senses, I think not knowing the language even elevates the hyper bubble of sensitivity . For me, Im trying to intake all I can and find a response and deliberate if its worth leaving or investigating more. This happens over and over again almost every second, maybe 100 times a second, it feels that your absorbing information and filing it. its intense, its all comsuming and theres a need to find those objects, sights, or moments in time that will propel you into a creative frenzy. I force ideas out and sometimes is ok and sometimes its sheer crap but its this intense, perceptive reality on leaving the studio or even just opening the curtains that starts the fevor. Its an uninterrupted onslaught of thought. Its fucking exhilarating, its the biggest high and the deepest low Ive ever felt. its consuming. Its a melancholy ecstasy. Ive tried to write on this state of affection several times and its hard to find the language to explain. This is why I am here.
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Im not sure exactly what is going on but I waited til midday to head outside. I walked towards the Lourve seeing it was raining and after yesterday being shut during riots I thought it might be quiet but as per usual there were cues in the pouring rain so I kept walking towards the city. There was a group coming towards me and one of the men called “ madame ..something prefecture “ I missed the word I needed but thought that this area may not be the safest so decided to quickly walk towards home. It was about 3pm and quiet. all the cafes were empty and it just felt wrong I searched the faces around me and noticed people gesturing to the area I had just left and another tourist asking for directions with a man explaining “this way is very difficult for you”..There were 2 police cars driving in the bike lanes …I don’t know whats going on. So im not sure if its just a series of unrelated events or somethings going down.. Ive arrive back at the studio and busily search for some news or information, but all I can find out is that the protests have continued.
